What do you do when you realize you’ve been a dick so long after the fact that it would be pointless to apologize about it?
I find myself in that position now, as I review the videos I shot during a trip to Bimini in 2005. Cay and I went with a group through Dolphin Expeditions, which specializes in taking people to swim with wild dolphins in the Caribbean. And they do a very good job of it too, never interfering with the dolphins but allowing them to initiate and maintain contact at their leisure.
I wish I’d had the same “hands-off” philosophy, but I was determined to make a documentary video no matter how everybody else felt about it. As a result I behaved rather obnoxiously, sticking my camera in people’s faces, shooting conversations that people would rather have had privately and generally making the other passengers uncomfortable. I can see it now, reviewing the videos, why wasn’t I aware of it then? Cay even tried to make me aware of how I was behaving but I wasn’t into listening. Hell, I even asked the other passengers to sign model releases in case I wanted to use the footage in a “real” video! Most of them were good sports about it, but in retrospect I don’t know why they didn’t just throw me overboard.
I’m so embarrassed, now, that I have lost my enthusiasm for editing the rest of the video. And I feel like I need to apologize for my behavior to everybody else on the trip. So, although it may come eight years too late, I want to apologize to our captain, Geoffrey, first mate Tita Diminik, facilitator Laura Scott and fellow passengers Gary Bettega, Milton Higgins, Dido Fischer, Barbara Stelmah, Joann Ng and Rene Landry. I was a jerk with my video camera, and I’m sorry about it.